Lesson 10: Sexism

OK, here’s the GIST of this lesson: You’re not LESS THAN, in any way, nor are you going to allow yourself to be treated as something LESS THAN, just because you’re a girl.

Now allow me to ineptly explain what sexism is:

Racism is, essentially, discriminatory or abusive behavior towards members of another race and/or the prejudice that members of one race are superior to members of other races.

In other words, just because your skin is a different color, you get treated differently than someone else.

Sexism is when a man or women discriminates against or devalues someone of the opposite sex, just because they are of the opposite sex; as in:

“I’m better (or privileged) because I am a man, a male, and you are a female.”

Sexism is something we learn. For example, from Disney! (See the Video Below)

Self-defense against sexism (that is, in being a victim of discriminatory behavior aimed towards you, just because you’re a female) begins with BEING AWARE when someone is behaving in a way that treats you as “less than,” just because you’re a girl.

Being aware that something is “not right” —allows you to think about, and take action on, things that ARE right.

If and when YOU “buy into” the idea that you are less than, not as strong as, more delicate than, or not as capable as a male of our species, then you are perpetuating sexism. To pay you less, just because you’re a girl, to be ordered around, just because you are a girl, to be treated not as a person, but as a “thing” or “object,” just because you are a girl — all of this is NOT OK.

Some good reading / viewing about television and the media and it’s practices (including sexism) can be found at the website: Media Awareness Network. The resources there are pointed at parents and teachers, but you may find it interesting as well.

While the word “sexism” isn’t used by many girls, until they’re in college, it’s a good word to understand early on. If you know where discrimination is going to come from, it allows you to prepare for it, in advance —which is known as “self-defense.”

Girls (like all people) defend themselves with their heads. Knowledge IS self-defense.



Gender roles are learned —and here, Disney does its part to teach us how girls and boys are “supposed” to act. Seen from this perspective, it’s no wonder girls are discriminated upon and/or often victims of male aggression.

Lesson 9: Your Education

 

Education.

Do you want to be a poor adult, struggling to make a living?

• High school dropouts earn about $9,200 less per year than high school graduates and about $1 million less over a lifetime than college graduates.
• High school dropouts are twice as likely as high school graduates to slip into poverty.

Do you want to work doing something you love —or something you could care less about?

• High school dropouts were over three times more likely to be unemployed than college graduates.

Do you want to suffer, unnecessarily?

• High school dropouts are also more likely to be in prison, on death row, unhealthy, divorced and single parents.
• Dropping out of school is associated with delayed employment opportunities, poverty, and multiple social and health problems, including substance abuse, delinquency, intentional and unintentional injury, and unintended pregnancy.
• Young female dropouts were nine times more likely to have become single mothers than young women who went on to earn college degrees.

Make a self-defense decision: “I’m going to stay in school, no matter what!”

Note: That might be some of the best self-defense advice you’ll ever get.

Lesson 8: Environmental Self-Defense

The next three video are about stuff. It’s stuff related to the use of stuff. It’s stuff that’s coming out of our ears —and it’s about the environment and our attitude about what we use, where it comes from and where it goes.

Self-defense in todays world is a global issue. It’s about defense from an attitude that more is better, that consuming and consuming and consuming without regard for what that means, is a dangerous path. And for most of us, it’s the path we’re on —and everyone we know is on it too.

If we don’t change our thinking, if we don’t wake up to the what we really want and need and what that means to the planet, well, we’re already in trouble, but we could be in a disastrous, painful place in the not too distant future.

So these these three films, while just a drop in the ocean of info about consumerism, the environment, conspicuous consumption, and pollution, they’re a decent place to begin addressing the issues involved.



From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It’ll teach you something, it’ll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.



From http://www.ted.com/: Artist Chris Jordan shows us an arresting view of what Western culture looks like. His supersized images picture some almost unimaginable statistics — like the astonishing number of paper cups we use every single day.



Consumerism and Stuff

This film, from the AMAZING website wwwTED.com, has something very important to do with self-defense. It’s about garbage. It’s about waste. It’s about pollution and poisons, and the way we throw things away —when there really is no “away.”

Having a healthy attitude is self-defense for the brain. Escaping a bad guy and/or blocking a punch is self-defense for the body. Paying attention (also called “looking deeply”) at what we consume and throw away, often without a second thought, is self-defense on a big, grand, global scale.

If we don’t take care of our planet, if we’re not more respectful and careful of what we use and what we throw away, we’re headed for some very bad times as a species.

These substances and the marketing behind them are some of the most destructive forces in our world today. See more commercials about how alcohol is actually marketed to young people by going to THE MARIN INSTITUTE’S youtube channel.

Lesson 7: Alcohol and Drug Abuse

For many, many people, alcohol and drugs are the beginning of the end.

The end of happiness. The end of family. The end of clear thinking. The end of the enjoyment of nature. The end of all that is healthy and good and lovable and alive. It’s the end of a good life, the end of being a hero or a reader or a thinker or a doer.

They are everywhere (drugs) —and the sale of alcohol and drugs to young people is everywhere too.

Here’s a publication called DRUGS: Shatter the Myths. It’s put out by The National Institute on Drug Abuse. It’s a colorful publication talking about subjects that can, literally, take of the color and pleasure out of your life.

And here’s a site specifically for teens. http://www.teens.drugabuse.gov/

Getting sucked into the use of alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs is, by far, the worst, most insidious, most damaging thing that could ever happen to you in your life. Avoid it at all costs, no matter what, no matter how many of your friends indulge, no matter how harmless you’re told it is, stay away.

This is a no-nonsense self-defense video from self-defense expert Bill Kipp. I (that is my mentor, Tom Callos) asked Bill, who travels the world teaching other teacher HOW to teach effective, life-saving self-defense, to sit down for a few minutes and give us some of his best advice about self-defense for girls.

His message: Be a really, REALLY bad victim!

Lesson 6: Dangerous & Emergency Situations

The book, Strong on Defense, unfortunately out of print (used copies can be found on Amazon) offers these 4 Survival Tips (for worst-case scenarios):

1. React Immediately

2. Resist

3. Avoid Crime Scene #2

4. Never Give Up

Crime scene #2 is where a victim is taken after the initial crime (“come with me,” “get in the car”). The second “crime scene” is, statistically, ALWAYS worse than the first “crime scene.”

This means that if you’re ever confronted with a bad situation —you NEVER, EVER GO WITH SOMEONE to a second place or location. Never.

If you have to fight or escape or raise a commotion to get attention, you do it right where it happens. Never go with someone, get in someones car, or allow yourself to be taken —to a second location.

Fight it out where it happens; resist and keep resisting —and NEVER GIVE UP.

“Expect the best, prepare for the worst,” that’s the mantra for all self-defense situations.

This particular lesson is about what to do when a situation is not good, really bad, or downright dangerous.

First, if at all possible, never allow a situation that’s not good, to get bad —or really bad. Trust your instincts; when things don’t feel right, get out, get away, and get help.

If you think or feel something strange or potentially dangerous is going down, go away —as fast as is humanly possible.

In a worst-case scenario, the second lesson is that in self-defense there ARE NO RULES.

In a weird or bad situation, you get to (must) break all the rules of society and every rule of civilized behavior you’ve ever been taught, as when you’re in danger (or even feel like you might be in danger) the last thing you should do is “follow the rules” or “act like a lady” or “don’t bring attention to yourself.”

When you’re in danger it’s perfectly OK to lie (and lie big). It’s OK to hit (and hit hard).

It’s OK to scratch, bite, kick, punch, throw things, and scream. While it would be completely inappropriate to throw, Oh say, a rock through a window in a “normal” situation, in a dangerous situation you can throw anything you want through any window that might make noise, get attention, or otherwise provide an escape route.

You could throw a lamp into a window, you could throw a coffee table through it, heck, you could drive a car through a window if you had a chance to do so, as every rule should be broken when you feel threatened or in danger.

While some dangers can sneak up upon us, like a car accident we don’t see coming, other kinds of danger give us lots of advance warning, if we’ll only pay attention to it.

An advance warning might come in the form of the stranger hanging around, the group of people standing at the end of a hall, the door left open, the odd request for help or assistance, the lights all turned off, or the party that seems a little too wild or somehow peculiar.

You might feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck or you might have an “inner voice” telling you “this is strange.” Whatever it is, when you get the feeling things aren’t right, get away; get away fast.

I have a number of self-defense teacher-friends who have made it their life’s work to teach people how to avoid, escape, and if necessary, fight their way out of very scary and dangerous situations. My friends include Terri Harris of The National Self-Defense Institute, Bill Kipp, Peyton Quinn, and Sanford Strong.

Note: I don’t EVER want YOU to be in a dangerous situation.

I also don’t want you to live in fear, I don’t want you to feel paranoid, scared, or constantly at-risk, but I DO want you to know your options, I want you to know that you can fight for your life if you should ever be put in a situation that requires it.

I want you to have SOME training in life-threatening self-defense, so that you are never caught without some of those “tools” in your toolbox.