It is very likely that the first time you will ever actually need to physically defend yourself, in some way, will be from someone you “like” treating you in a way that is “Not OK.”What’s “Not OK,” might be an unwanted touch, a grab, or even an assault. It might be some kind of pressure to do something, go somewhere, or be involved in something that does not feel (or just plain isn’t) right.
With “self-defense,” in just about any form, we follow this guideline: EXPECT the BEST, PREPARE for the WORST.
That's why we’re here, now, talking about relationship, dating and boy issues.
There is no way to really tip-toe around the subject of dating, friendship, and “boy” rules, as anything and everything we have to talk about BEFORE an incident occurs (and of course, we all hope an “incident” never arrives), is 1000-times better than anything we have to talk about AFTER something happens.
Prevention is far, far better than therapy-after-the-fact.
Step # 1 in your relationship and dating self-defense education is to read about TYPES OF ABUSE; as you want to know what abuse is —or isn’t:
The Safe Place (.org) website is a good place to begin developing your relationship, dating, and what’s-OK-and-what’s-Not-OK personal guidelines. Note that there’s even a phone number for The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline (1-866-331-9474).
(Thank you to Gisela Giardino of Argentina for the photographs, above.)
Now, about boys:
A good deal of the violence that happens in the world is perpetrated by the males of our species.
Personally, I don’t know exactly what to say about that, but Dr. Jackson Katz does. Mr. Katz is like the Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris (without all the bad jokes) of the subject of boys/men and violent behavior. He’s produced a great film —no, a wonderful film —about violence called Tough Guise: Violence, Media and The Crises in Masculinity. See it on-line, here: http://www.mediaed.org/cgi-bin/commerce.cgi?preadd=action&key=211
It’s a film geared towards high school and college students, but let me tell you, the subject matter is so interesting —and so important to know, I don’t think it’s a bad thing for pre-teens to watch it. It’s really up to your parents and/or care-givers, but once you do watch it, you’ll know SO MUCH MORE about how boys are programmed and taught about what is OK —and what is Not OK.
There are 100 lessons for you in the website and film mentioned above —and both contain just about the best information (and education on the subjects) I could ever hope to teach you.
Wait! One more: The website BREAK THE CYCLE: Empowering Youth to End Domestic Violence has, well, life saving, life changing, life-empowering, essential info for anyone under the age of 99.
The real lesson in the lesson above? Do your homework FIRST, before you ever need it. Expect the best, be prepared for something less.
